I Surrender All....

"If my life is surrendered to God, all is well. Let me not grab it back, as though it were in peril in His hand but would be safer in mine!"
Elisabeth Elliot

Thanking God for the peace and surrender that He has allowed me as we finish up our ninth home school year. I am at perfect peace concerning decisions that we will be making in the very near future for dear son's next steps in furthering his education. He is beginning his high school years...and I am trusting God with it all. I love this quote from Elisabeth Elliot, one of my favorite Christian writers and speakers. I am constantly reminding myself to not take back what I have surrendered to God. I know it is not safer in my hands and that He knows what is best.

Over the last 2 weeks I have been in prayer about our oldest and whether or not he should go out for high school after being home schooled the first nine years of his educational career. I am continuing to pray and sit back and watch as God works in my heart and in my son's heart as well,and in our family. Oh, so much I am the richer for it and the surrender of every little thing about it to Him. Instead of pushing my will on my son, God is working His plans out in His time. Instead of nagging and arguing and crying, I have surrendered it to God. Thank you God for your faithfulness and thank you for whatever the end results will be concerning the high school years. In the end, the question of where my son will spend the next four years in school is not important, but how we get to the answer is. Thank you God that at least this time, I followed the call to surrender it all to you, after I began to take it upon myself to "fix things." Now, I can see the long term working of it all and my heart swells at your mercy and your provision. Thank you for growing my faith and the faith of my dear son.

Now if I can remember to surrender everything all of the time...that is the real question and I hope that I can remember how God has met me here and now.

Homeschooling Quandary

"Yes, if you cry out for discernment, And lift up your voice for understanding,If you seek her as silver, And search for her as for hidden treasures; Then you will understand the fear of the Lord, And find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding." Proverbs 2:3-6

I am praying over a homeschooling quandary. I am sure that many, many homeschoolers go through this very exact situation, asking this question. I know this because I am hearing it all around me right now. Do I continue to homeschool all the way through high school? My oldest is a rising 9th grader and we are confronting this question head on in our home right now. I have made a mental list of all the pros and cons. We have had many, many discussions. My husband and I have prayed and continue to pray over the answer to this question.

One thing I know for certain, whatever our final decision it will not be one that is made without much agonizing and prayer. I am twisted up inside thinking about the next four years and how they will effect my son in his life long journey. I am not worried academically about how to provide for him. We are so blessed to live in NC and the opportunities available are so abundant. I know it will be challenging to continue through high school. I also know that God is up to the challenge! Either way the questions are much greater than, can I homeschool through high school?

So we will continue to seek God's wisdom. I know that the answers will come and that they will be the exact right ones for our son and for our family. It is just getting there that is the struggle, right? Once again I find myself in the waiting room.

Good Friday

Some of us think at times that we could cry, "My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me?" There are seasons when the brightness of our Father's smile is eclipsed by clouds and darkness; but let us remember that God never does really forsake us. It is only a seeming forsaking with us, but in Christ's case it was a real forsaking. We grieve at a little withdrawal of our Father's love; but the real turning away of God's face from His Son, who shall calculate how deep the agony which it caused Him? In our case, our cry is often dictated by unbelief: in His case, it was the utterance of a dreadful fact, for God had really turned away from Him for a season. O thou poor, distressed soul, who once lived in the sunshine of God's face, but art now in darkness, remember that He has not really forsaken thee. God in the clouds is as much our God as when He shines forth in all the lustre of His grace; but since even the thought that He has forsaken us gives us agony, what must the woe of the Saviour have been when He exclaimed, "My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me?" Charles Haddon Spurgeon The Spurgeon Archive I loved this quote about the agony that Christ suffered on the cross on Good Friday. Puts everything else in my life into perspective when I think of all that He did for me and the pain He suffered as His Father turned His face away...thank you Jesus.

Let the Spring Cleaning Begin!

I love this time of year. The feeling of newness in the air is intoxicating and has spurred me on to thinking about Spring Cleaning! I love to clean, really I do! I love the feeling of satisfaction I get when I have scrubbed and polished and weeded through all the stuff that seems to accumulate over the long winter. The problem is finding the time to really clean! I am formulating a plan for my spring cleaning so that I can accomplish the big clean up, but in a reasonable way so that I am not up to my ears in dust bunnies and old projects and clothes that are two sizes too small! I am learning as I get older to tackle things with a little more grace mixed in with my gusto so I don't BURN OUT and not get anything done. Besides, spring cleaning my home I feel God's prompting to get my spiritual house in order as well. I have lost some of my "shininess" as I put it! I have been running so hard with so many balls up in the air with my dear husband deployed and gone for us for 15 months, that my quiet time, and my seeking of the Lord has been a brief happening each day. I am cleaning out my schedule this spring too and where others may be increasing their schedules as the warmer weather is ushered in, I am trying to weed out the things that are not necessary so that I can carve out time to spend on my most important relationship with my Jesus. So many things creep in to my daily planning and before I know it they have taken over the sweet garden time I have with Him. No more! Time to start pulling weeds and cutting back the overgrowth of a over-packed schedule. The great thing I know is that when I do that, every other area of my life falls into order. I love order! Order in my relationship with Christ, order in all my relationships, order in our homeschooling and order in the house! I love Spring time!

March is Here!

Well, where in the world did February go? In and out and without a single post from me! We are so thrilled to have dear husband home for good from deployment in Iraq in February. He came into Kinston and I actually was able to find the armory on my own with directions from Mapquest. The kids had posters and eager, happy faces to greet him as he climbed down the stairs of the bus that brought him home from Ft. Stewart, Georgia. Words cannot describe the moments that came next, seeing his face and feeling his hug and seeing the children and their reactions to having him home for good. It was a wonderful, cold Saturday afternoon!

The family is humming along now. Getting used to our "new" old normal of having Dad in the mix once again. It is warm and sunny today, although the weatherman says winter will make a run at us again tomorrow. Dear husband is looking forward to warmer weather. He just cannot get used to how cold it is here. He really enjoyed the 110 degrees of Iraq! I am looking forward to those gentle warming days of springtime as well.

We have dear husband to ourselves one more week, and then he will start back to his normal routine. Today we are going to try a movie at the theater. We haven't been to see a matinee as a family for at least 2 years. Should be fun! Dear husband is taking one of our 3 out for their special lunch with Dad first and then we will all meet up for the movie.

We are trying to be intentional about our time together and do some fun things as a family and couple before really getting back into the swing of things. There are so many lessons learned from our 15 months apart. These are the things that I want to hold on to the things God taught us as individuals and as a family. I want to work hard at not taking one another for granted and for living each day to the fullest. .

I am thankful that this March our family is once again complete! Welcome home darling!

Cetainty in the Uncertain

I am reminded today again of what we can be certain of even in the uncertain times of life. We can be certain of God's care and provision. We can be certain of His strength to make it through the unthinkable and insurmountable. We can know without doubt that Jesus intercedes for us and knows what we are going through and can even put it into words when we are unable to do so ourselves. We can know that we are loved with an everlasting love that will never die. I am so thankful that I can remember these certainties and hold on to them when life spins out of control around me.

Starting this period of final count down for dear husband's return is wonderful. Thinking of all the what ifs before his time of departure and return to our family is not. Trying to get the kids back on track with school and schedules feels like walking through quicksand right now to me. Dealing with an unknown health problem with one of my children with no answers yet, just lots of questions, that is uncertain. Everything is hard. Then, some dear friends and fellow military family are suffering, with their dear husband and dad having unexplained severe head pain and being flown to Germany from Iraq. So unsettling for everyone and so devastating for their family. All of the unknowns, the unanswered questions have stirred up inside of me fear. Fear of the unknown of the coming hours,days,weeks and months.


I know that I need to regroup, or thanks to our Tapestry of Grace Year 3 unit 2 study, "circle the wagons". I need to go back to what I know is TRUE. God is in control, God loves me, God has a plan, and God is sovereign and makes no mistakes. Oh yes, that is what I need to go back to and hold on to and remember right now. God is good. Thank you dear Lord for your reassurances.

"Because of the LORD'S great love we are not consumed for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped." Psalm 28:7

Happy 2010!

Happy New Year! It is the first day of the new year and the new decade. Just typing that makes me realize how fast the years are slipping by and how much I want to make each day count. This year I am praying to make sure I treasure each day whether it is filled with the things I thought would happen or not. I have learned by God's grace over the last several years that time is so precious and once it is gone you cannot regain a second of it. I pray for God's direction as 2010 begins and for consistency to seek His face daily and walk closely with Him so that this new year can be all He has for me and I can serve Him and bring glory to His name.

Happy New Year! Don't let a second go by that you are not living completely and thanking God for the gift of a new day.